Funny Graduation Poems
Funny Rhyming Poems - Very Funny Poems About School
Looking for funny graduation poems? This story really happened more than 30 years ago, as I'll explain in detail after the poem. Truth is stranger than fiction!
As I was writing this poem, it dawned on me it was the exact anniversary day of the event. In fact, around the same time in the morning!
Here's something that will make this poem funnier. You have to understand, I used to be a know-it-all perfectionist, and really prefer a regular schedule. I just wasn't very flexible.
This event kind of blew our schedules to pieces. Enjoy!
138. Graduating with a Bang !
by Paul Berchtold, May 18, 2011
We were very ready,
Taking tests, planning trips,
Keeping schedules steady.
On a sunny Sunday
A long, long time ago,
Our class went on a trip.
What happened, who would know?
There was a wall so dark,
Across the valley far,
Still we packed all our things,
And then got in the car.
The sky was black at first,
Then dark as night could be,
When slowly light came back,
The driver couldn't see!
The police told us why,
St. Helen's blew that day,
We drove an hour at first,
We "prayed" back half a day!
We stayed a week at school,
You couldn't drive or walk,
Since flying in the air,
Was dust finer than chalk.
Our schedules changed a lot,
We wore masks on our nose,
A lot fewer classes,
That's really how life goes.
Finally came the rains,
Mud cakes everywhere,
With thanks we now could breathe,
The skies at least were fair.
We shoveled lots of ash,
Which was both far and near,
And then we seniors took,
Another trip that year!
Days later school ended,
Our farewells gladly sang,
After all, we're so special,
We graduated with a bang!
Poems by Paul Berchtold
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Funny Graduation Poems - Off to a Great Start
This poem is about a big, big bang. More than 2/3 of a cubic mile of pulverized rock exploded high into the atmosphere, and was carried for hundreds of miles - in our direction.
It was one of the biggest bangs in history! I know, some of this may seem really wild and weird. But it's all true, and I'm putting in the details to the best of my ability.
Our class of 12 senior boys were off to take a weeklong trip before graduation day. Our destination was on the coast, about 300 miles away. 2 or 3 of our teachers were supervisors on the trip, and did all the driving. Someone was letting us spend a week at their cabin, right on the ocean.
Funny Graduation Poems - Putting God First
We went to church at 9 am. Then we finished packing the vans and trailer, and we were off!
Our school is on a bluff, and as we left, I saw a wall of black over the mountains far across the valley, and mentioned it to our teacher/driver. He thought it was a storm, but we all agreed we'd never seen one like that. It was totally black. And we were driving in that direction!
But we only drove about an hour. We passed an air base, and all these people were driving out with their lights on. We didn't know that the air show had been cancelled, and everyone was told to hurry home.
Funny Graduation Poems - The Big Surprise
We drove a little further in absolute pitch darkness. Was this an eclipse? Probably not.
We stopped at a police station, and one of our teachers went in to ask. The policeman said Mt St Helen's blew around 9 am, and the ash was being blown our way. He told us to go back home, the roads were very bad. That's why the air show was cancelled.
We didn't listen to the radio, or watch TV, so while we knew the volcano was due to blow sometime soon, we were too busy with church, eating, and packing to find out.
Mt. St. Helen blew on Sunday morning, May 18th, 1980. The top of the mountain was lowered more than 1000 feet.
The rumble around 9 am was heard in many of the mountains ridges around us - hundreds of miles away.
Funny Graduation Poems - The Drive Home
It took us an hour or so to get to the police station. It took us hours and hours to get home.
We turned around. As we drove back, it got a little lighter because the ash was falling.
It filled the air. We had to close the van windows, we could hardly breathe. I breathed through a handkerchief on my nose. My classmates began to say you should, and you should not, breathe through a handkerchief. Some also put cloths to their noses.
Then the driver cut in, and said stop arguing. This is very serious. He couldn't see the road at all.
Funny Graduation Poems - A Real Nightmare
It was worse than fog. We were going 3-5 miles an hours, he had the driver door open looking down at the road, and still couldn't see the lines on the road, because the dust was already covering the dotted lines!
And he couldn't see forward at all. He asked us to pray. So we said many prayers, and finally got home. We were lucky too, because many people lost their car engines because the dust was so fine, it went through air filters.
And so our class took a forced vacation for the next week in the basement of school.
Funny Graduation Poems - I Won the Argument
For several days, the TV and radio stations gave conflicting reports whether or not to wear masks going outside.
Many times, because I was so goofy, I was a real pain, a real pill to my classmates. I was an insecure know-it-all.
But this time, I was partially right. They finally determined you had to breathe through a mask. But, if you used a cloth, you had to wet it down, to not breathe in the granite dust.
Even after it rained, the local authorities issued dust masks to everyone. When shoveling or sweeping the ash, it made clouds of dust.
Everyone had to wear masks to go outside, it was so bad. Parents put masks on their children. And some smart alecks even put dust masks on the statues in the parks !!!
Funny Graduation Poems - Everything Goes Topsy Turvy
Our plans changed a lot. All our schedules went right out the window. We had a lot to learn.
You couldn't wipe the dust off your car, or it would scratch the paint right off, because it was so abrasive. You could only wash it off with water.
Eventually it rained, which cleared the air a bit, but clogged the drains with muck that acted like wet powdered cement.
Fire trucks came and washed all the mud from the streets. Even after it dried again, when we were sweeping it in piles, it was like water. You pushed with a push broom, and it's just keep going in little waves.
Funny Graduation Poems - Somehow, We Graduated!
Somehow, we went on another make-up trip, and spent some days at the cabin on the coast.
Somehow we finished our tests, even though school was cancelled for many days.
Somehow we had our formal graduation dinner with family and friends. Then we had an informal dinner at a classmates house, with teachers and classmates.
And an informal breakfast at a restaurant, followed by a walk over the river falls which was very high.
It took some doing, but thank God, we finally graduated!
Funny Graduation Poems - About Being Special
When we graduate, some of us think we're at the top of the world. We think we're so special.
And watch out, here we come!
Okay, admit it, we all think like that one time or another.
We think we're God's gift to the world.
Funny Graduation Poems - An Important Reminder
Mt. St. Helen's was God's gift to us, to remind us that while we are special - after all, not everyone graduates with a big bang - still, we need to know who's really in charge.
In life, business, and family, regularity is important - but flexibility helps.
I had to learn that lesson the hard way.
Funny Graduation Poems - A Wonderful Benefit
In some places not far from us, they got 6 inches of ash on the ground. Despite all the trouble, in the next couple years the wheat and grain farmers got bumper crops, because the ash was a natural rock fertilizer!
In our local area, we got about 2 to 4 inches. It looked like powder cement.
More importantly, I think it was the wonderful glue that made our graduation class a real team. We volunteered many projects, helping clean up the school grounds. We worked together, we had fun together, and we took the lumps too.
Some years ago, we had our 25th class reunion at a local restaurant. Some of us came from out of state. Many of us have stayed more or less in touch. I have to, because one of my 11 classmates is my own brother!
Funny Graduation Poems - Another Funny Story
As I'm writing this story, I just keep remembering so much more stuff.
Like the time we hooked up one of the school fire hoses to wash everything down, to get the volcanic ash off. And I mean everything. Even the huge maple trees, else the mud would cake the leaves. The road, the lawn, the cars, trucks, vans, buildings, sidewalks, etc. Our school had an independent fire hydrant system.
Anyway, we turned on the pressure, and soon my 2 classmates holding the nozzle lost control, as they were thrown to the ground. (They were real stocky fellows.)
And there the hose went whipping around at high speed!
Luckily, our team stationed at the hydrant was able to turn off the pressure at the hydrant before anyone got hurt.
Eventually, the fire department came with their hoses to help.
Funny Graduation Poems - Mt. St. Helen's Eruption Facts
How big a bang was Mt St Helen's? Unfortunately, more than 50 people died. Thousands of big game animals and millions of fish were destroyed.
To give some idea of the blast, here's some facts about the eruption of Mount Saint Helen's:
- It removed about .7 cubic miles of rock (3.8 billion cubic yards).
- It created the largest landslide in recorded history.
- It was about 500 times the nuclear bomb in Hiroshima.
- It destroyed 150,000 -170,000 acres of forest. The trees were flattened like toothpicks.
- It destroyed 4 billion board feet of timber.
- The mountain top went down 1,314 feet, from 9,677 feet to 8,363 feet.
Funny Graduation Poems - Rivers of Hot Mud
"Rivers of Hot Mud." That would make an interesting poem or song, don't you think?
It's weird, but true! When Mt. St. Helen's erupted, the heat of the blast melted ice, mixed it with pulverized granite, and it came down the rivers as a tidal wave of hot mud.
14 miles of one river was buried in an average of 150 feet of mud. In one place it was covered by 600 feet of mud!
Some people were able to barely get out, running for their lives. But many didn't make it.
Most everyone had been warned by the authorities, and had left, because there were frequent earthquakes and small eruptions in the months before.
I don't think many people expected the rivers of hot mud though. Lava or ash maybe, but not hot mud!
That summer, driving over bridges many miles away from the epicenter, we could see the mud left on the bridge. And we saw all the tree trunks caked in dried mud up to 15 to 20 feet above the ground!
Some of that mud went into the Columbia River, changing the river channel depth from 40 to 14 feet, and stranding dozens of ships upstream.
Funny Graduation Poems - An Unusual Summer
The biggest bang from Mt. St. Helen's was when it really woke up on May 18th, and violently exploded.
But it didn't go back to sleep. It continued minor eruptions every once in a while, blowing plumes of ash, especially during that first summer. People simply drove around out of the way of wherever the plume blew. Of course, some highways and bridges had to be repaired and rebuilt first.
Funny Graduation Poems - An Awesome Sight
During our annual summer outing, in that first summer after the blast we watched it blow 3 times in one afternoon, a sight I still remember. The plume went into the atmosphere at a rate of about 1000 feet a second. We calculated the distance, and in about 20 seconds after each explosion, it hit the trade winds, and blew over Mount Rainier to the north, which we could also see. The eruptions were about 15-20 minutes apart.
That night, we had planned to drive back home through the night. But we had to sleep in another school, because the roads home were closed, due to falling ash and low visibility. We finally got out the next day.
A little reminder that after graduation, all may not be rosy.
Funny Graduation Poems - More Funny Poems
If you like funny poems, I've written a few others:
Funny Graduation Poems - The Hand of God
We can look back now and laugh, but I see the hand of a loving God that got us through it all.
Isn't that what heaven will be all about?
Thank your stars, thank your stars, thank your stars!
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